As many of you may know... since we have been married, life has been a bit of a roller coaster ride, as life can be sometimes. My Nanny passed away on September 1st, just 4 days after our wedding. And on December 31st, my Dad passed away after a brief illness. Losing someone who is so important to you is never easy, death is never an easy thing to deal with, nor understand. Especially when it is unexpected. When my Nanny passed away, she had been sick for some time... so it wasn't entirely unexpected, but nonetheless, it wasn't easy. We were extremely close & I have missed her dearly everyday since she left. My Dad's death was completely unexpected, which made it that much harder to deal with & that much harder to understand. What we were told was that he had Strep Pneumonia, it is the worst kind of Pneumonia you can get & is usually fatal. The doctor's held out hope that he would be able to fight off the infection that had so rapidly taken over his body... but his body was just too weak. He was in the hospital for a week & one day and on the morning of New Years Eve, he went home to be with our Lord. Everything felt so surreal, like it was all just a bad dream. Not to mention that it all happened right around Christmas. I would love to say that it has gotten easier with each passing day, but it just hasn't. Everyday it seems that I get flooded with happy memories of my childhood & can't help but be sad that we won't be able to make new memories... that I won't be able to see his sweet smile, hear his big laugh (that seemed to have come from his toes), get one of his famous BIG hugs or hear him call me "Little Foot" again. There was so much left to be said, so much left to be heard, so much left undone. The morning of his funeral, I couldn't help but be overwhelmed with emotion, it began to overtake me. I decided to take a minute to just sit down & pray... I asked God to bring my family & I comfort, strength & peace. I asked Him to be close to me that day & help me to make it through whatever the day would hold. I have grown closer than I ever imagined to God. I have drawn ever near to Him in all of my sadness, with the passing of two very important people in my life. It seems His word, His love, the feeling of His loving arms around me is what helps me through each day. It has helped me to realize how important it is to have a relationship with Him, a relationship that only grows stronger each day. Sometimes it's hard to not ask "why"... "why him", "why now"? Those of us on earth don't know why, but God does. He sees the bigger picture. He is the one who always has our best interest at heart. That's where FAITH comes in. Hebrews 11:1 says; "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." My faith has grown stronger than I ever imagined through all of this.
My Jordan... I truly don't know what I would do without him. He knows that I always "try" to be the strong one, for everyone... he constantly tells me that "its okay to be sad" & that "it's okay to lean on him when I'm feeling weak". For the past 4 weeks now, I have had what I call "bad days", not every day, but at least once a week if not more. I have found that if I tell him I am having a "bad day", it makes my bad day's a little easier. He holds me tight & wipes away my tears & tells me that it will get easier with time, how much time... he doesn't know & he tells me that, it helps that he doesn't try to act like he knows what I'm feeling. He just holds me close, and that is more than enough. Each day is a gift & no one is promised tomorrow, we have both come to know & appreciate that fact even more. I can't imagine that either one of us could have foreseen the first 4 months of our married life going through all that we have been through so far. I do believe that it has made us grow closer together & we have become a much stronger couple because of it. He is my rock & the biggest blessing in my life. I am grateful for him beyond measure. Despite everything that has happened, I can say that this is the happiest I have ever been. Jordan makes me happier than I ever could have imagined... happier than I ever thought possible. Everyday with him, I learn something new about him to love. Being married to your best friend is the greatest feeling :)
I can hardly believe that we will be celebrating our 6 month wedding anniversary this Friday!! I keep telling Jordan; "it can only go uphill from here". I eagerly look forward to what our future has in store... anywhere we go, I'll be happy just having Jordan by my side.
My Family... We have always been so close & I have always been so grateful for that. With the recent events, we have grown closer than I ever thought possible. We make sure to say our "I love you's" more, give more hugs & just check in with each other more often. Each day is a gift & I think we are all learning to appreciate that gift & each other a little more. I would like to give a special thank you to The Schott Family, especially my "T" & Uncle Victor... words just sometimes aren't enough, thank you just sometimes isn't enough. You two are the most amazing Aunt & Uncle that anyone could ever ask for. You are always right there whenever I need you. You'll never know how much you mean to me. I love you both so much. I am so blessed to not only be surrounded by my amazing family, but now Jordan's wonderful family as well. I truly couldn't have asked for a better family to become a part of :) Thank you so much Joel & Jane for being so supportive & loving through everything. You will never know how much it has meant to me. I am also so thankful for my wonderful church family, they truly are some of the sweetest people I have ever known. I feel so lucky & blessed to have such wonderfully amazing people in my life.
I would also like to say thank you to everyone who came to my Dad's funeral, it was a wonderful testament to the sweet, caring, big-hearted man that he was & it meant so much to me & my Sister.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD. -Jeremiah 29:11-14
I will update soon with pictures, until next time... lots of love!!
Blessings,
Jenna
